Chicago Buffalo Blog: Achieving Happiness Orally

Chrissy on The Purple Otter

The most memorable part of this experience was the Survival Board Game that we played. (Light a candle in an enclosed space for warmth in a blizzard. The lily is a poisonous plant; do not eat it. When one has been disemboweled, leave them as they are and cover the exposed innards with a damp cloth.)

The wings themselves were averagely spicy. 2.5 hearts. They were advertised as Jumbo, but were not at all meaty. Some of mine were over done, with a not unpleasant charred flavor, but it left them dry as they continued to cook themselves at the table. The sauce was vinegary, with a decent amount of it left in the bottom for dipping. I highly rate the sides at 4 hearts. The homemade blue cheese was original, with a tartar sauce texture and tartness.

Service was friendly, but unable to accommodate the amount of business in the bar. Music selection included classic rock, creating a comfortable, laid back atmosphere when combined with the board games.

Overall, a good place to hang out with a couple friends but only 2.25 hearts.

Chrissy on Jake Melnick's
Whoa, was I unprepared for this experience.

The establishment itself was a casual bar, populated with bar stools at high tables and a smattering of younger folks watching Monday night football. The sports, however, were not in your face. We sat off to the side, under criss-crossing strands of christmas lights, with a view of the city street. Service was friendly, but not the best. The waitress should have warned us.

I ordered the XXX, which failed to come with the promised plastic fireman's hat. When they came to the table, I cleared my sinuses with a delicate sniff of the sauce. My ENORMOUS wings came in a basket with crisp celery and a cup of dressing garnished with fresh crumbles of blue cheese suspended atop the perfectly creamy liquid.

I took my first bite. The perspiring began immediately. As did the burning. I can remember pain, but it doesn't seem real any longer. I heard the screams of my companions and saw them sweating as well. I attempted another mouthful, but the pain was too much. I had to ride it out before I could consider allowing my masochism to reach a whole new level. The waitress casually asked if we needed the cooling plates yet, but the spicy high was already setting in. None of us could properly answer. I rang my bell, knowing that one of us would need the cool ice cream by the time the plate arrived.

The adrenal glands kicked in, I'm sure of that. I've never been sky diving, but I'm sure that when I do, the rush will be similar to this experience. It was almost hallucinogenic. I definitely felt drunk despite the fact that I had only had one beer. My lips were tingling; my entire body was tingling; I got goosebumps.

The second wing was not as intense, but still painful and strangely euphoric. I ate some of the traditional spicy and what taste buds I had left to me told me that they were pleasant, but not very saucy. After a pause, some water, and a beer, Lauren and I toasted my third wing. The intensity again was diminished, but it still burned. It still burns now, deep in my intestines as I write this.

This experience has changed my perspective of what "spicy" means. You can't eat the second hottest habanero in the world and come away unchanged.

List of possible locations
Already Visited
Poag Mahones - 333 S Wells - - no wing special
The Purple Otter - 2706 N Ashland Ave - -
Jake Melnick's Corner Pub - 41 E Superior

Future Locations
Toons - 3857 N Southport - - Thursday $2.50 wings
Schoolyard - 3258 N Southport - - Monday $5 all you can eat wings
Buffalo Joe's - 812 Clark St. (Evanston) - - no wing special
Finn McCool's - 15 W. Division St. - - Saturday, Sunday 35 cent wings
Yak-Zies Bar & Grill - 3710 N CLARK ST - - no wing special
The Ashland - 2824 N Ashland Ave - - no wing special
McGee's Tavern and Grille - 950 West Webster - - Tuesday 10 cent wings
Buffalo Wild Wings - 2464 N Lincoln Ave - - tuesdays 40 cent wings, thursday 60 cent boneless wings
Hooters - 660 N Wells St - - Wednesday $5.99 wings platter
High Dive - 1938 W Chicago Ave - - Tuesday $.25 wings
Mullen's Sports Bar & Grill - - Wednesday $.25 wings


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